OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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