Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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