You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
