WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need to sanitize my soul.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
