a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
