we're blogging at a bar
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
