And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
