Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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