I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
