Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
