I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
