I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize