I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He passed out mid-signature
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
