I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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