none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
