I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
