I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
