u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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