we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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