he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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