trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
