16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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