What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
