I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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