after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize