I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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