I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
