no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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