u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
