I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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