i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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