Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
