we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
