Just cropdusted the office
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
