using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
one might say we're banned from that church
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
These tits shall not be calmed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
