I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize