you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
