Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
