i don't like sucking hair
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
