The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize