3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
