Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
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Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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