I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just cut my nipple shaving
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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