porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
