I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
