just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
