why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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