in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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