if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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