Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
