Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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