he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
