k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
