He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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