Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
