Having a random hookup so left but love u
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
