Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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