I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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