lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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