He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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