Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
