Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
