Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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