Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
