I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
