My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
