He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
