i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
