Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We are all done wearing pants today
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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