can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
