Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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