Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
