i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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