I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is my life. Enjoy the view
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
