she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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