Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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