It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
