I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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