you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
