just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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