Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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