the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
then he tried to convert me to islam
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
