I hate your face
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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